March 18th

I feel the need to talk about something.
Last night, when I went to bed, I had a dream that was very lacking in details, but in main point, it was poignant. The main thing I remember thinking was that someone dangerous and terrifying was in my house, and I felt great fear clutch my breast because of it. I don't remember if there were any specifics, but I was just extremely scared because the person or being who was overwhelmingly powerful and evil was in my home and I did not want him there. I think I may have been trying to hide from him or even to avoid him as I walked around my home. He never made any advances to hurt me. He was just there and he was panic-inducing.
This kind of dream makes me wake up, full of anxiety. If I start thinking hard enough, I still have enough adrenaline in my body that I can convince myself that I hear footsteps out in the main living room, and I can actually convince myself that someone is out there with little to no effort. Usually it is just Fuzzy.

The weird thing is this is the not the first time I have had dreams like this. At first, I thought the fact that I was actually having scary dreams that shot adrenaline through me was because of the newfound pressures of being financially stable and a wife that could cause me a bit of anxiety. But after this third one, I'm not so sure. Since I've been married, I've had three distinctly scary dreams, two of which now had to do with a man who was very obviously evil getting or attempting to get into my home when I really did not want him there. I didn't see a correlation until both dreams came.
Then, this morning I was reading Saints: The Standard of Truth, a new book about the story of the Latter Day Saint church, and I read the beginning chapter, which talked about Joseph Smith Jr.'s early family life, and their family's struggle with churches. It turns out that both Joseph Smith's mother and father had dreams regarding religion, and that got me to thinking, these dreams I have are potent and they do almost have a prophetic feel to them, maybe I should try to inerpret them.

The man, I am almost certain, is Satan. But why is he in my house? And how did he get there? What are these dreams trying to tell me? I almost think, because the evil in this man or being was vastly stronger than the first dream (where I just refused a twitchy scary man entry into my home), that the dreams are trying to tell me that his presence in my house is getting stronger. That because we did not do Come Follow Me this week, or have not kept the spirit as strong as we should have in our home, that we are now in danger of letting Satan run rampant. That is really what it feels like. His presence was darkly electrifying. I never feel this way in my parents or in-laws house and I think that's significant. I think I need to be more vigilant about what I allow in my home and how I can prevent Satan from being present there.

It's kind of scary to think about that he could be.

Atlantean just pointed something out to me. This last dream was definitely our house, the presence was directly in the main room, but the first dream was in my parents house, and the man was much less evil and never got into the house. That's significant.

Anyway, let me talk about our current lives to alleviate some of that. Atlantean and I are currently making plans to move up to Logan for a couple of reasons. The main one being school for me so I can get my bachelors, which I have to admit I'm not in the perfect mindset for. The other reasons are that I just want a change in our lives, and it feels like a good time to move on considering God's path for us currently is not children. It's a scary proposition as finances are not so neatly set as they were down here and everything around anywhere is pretty expensive. It's also to have our own fresh start. It's really nice to have parents always so close, but my weirdly intrinsic mantra has always been self-sufficiency and i want to know I can do it, though I know the change may be jarring and I may have regrets. I just feel like it's a good growth point and God hasn't stopped us so far, so I think it's a good step, if not a scary one.
So we went and checked out apartments up there. We have about four months before we're moving, which is a good amount of time. We like Bridger Pointe up there.

Aos Si took over DMing for a bit because I didn't feel prepared and I took my first shift at Upstage Crew Services. He brought a projector and aimed it at the ceiling while he used Adobe Illustrator to move us around and fight monsters. It was pretty boss.

Upstage Crew Services was crazy! I am currently working three jobs, two of which are on commission/on call. (AirBnb cleaning and Upstage Crew Services) On top of that, I am working my Canyons School District job which schedule is a little fluctuating right now, and I'm attempting to volunteer at the ESL center, prepare and write the music for a play, create atleast eight different DIY crafts, complete my kickboxing course with friends while working around their schedule and animate a short with my friend Sylph who lives in Saratoga Springs.
If I complained about not having enough to do, I now have a hobby called "Biting off more than you can chew"
But Upstage! So I showed up to Upstage. It was in Salt Lake City, so parking was expensive! But it was quite a out of my element atmosphere. Turns out Upstage is a large employer of Union workers, which apparently causes a little bit of a rift between the two groups, Union and non-Union. But I got to go into the Salt Palace for free and get a free t shirt, and meet up with a whole bunch of gruff looking dudes on the back dock and sign in my name and everything. The people are generally friendly though and I made some friends I feel I could say hi to next time. We were sectioned off into groups, and it was essentially the closing down of a convention for home and auto I think, so I got to see the side of that, but we were only in charge of cleaning up our client's objects, which were specific kinds of tables, dividers, partitions, table skirts and chairs. So we basically did a lot of walking, stacking and hunting down for these items so we could clean them all up to be sent back. It was hard work, and my feet hurt, but I earned 80$ and we got out early! The time said we'd be done at 11, but we got out at 9. I recently signed up for another one (gotta make that dough before USU) which claims to go until 2:30 AM, so we'll find out if ending early is a common occurrence (I'm betting not). It was an interesting group of people and I wouldn't say I socialized much with any of them, but I didn't feel unwelcome or ostracized. They just talked about a lot of stuff I didn't particularly care about. Nice people through generally, though physical labor is not my strong suit, I'm not a wuss. (I don't think) And a lot of people introduced themselves to me. At the end, they explicitly cornered me and thanked me for doing such a good job. I had two people go out of their way to tell me that I had done a great job tonight. I was confused because I was pretty sure I had done the average amount of work and was just one of them, but it did feel nice. It's probably either because I'm new or because (maybe?) I'm kind of cute ;)

Today after work I am going up with Mermaid to Park City and helping Siren get proposed to! (I'm gonna have to come up with a name for her boy!) It should be fun and we discussed the plan all last night when we went and had dinner with my family and planned a package for Wolfman's birthday up in Hungary. the package prices are expensive!

Also I planned a whole bunch of name ideas for our Relief Society book party in April coming up and I was reminded how much I like words and English and books. It's definitely my strong suit. I also chopped my hair (finally!)

Gotta go!

~Nymph

March 1st

So today has been a weird day of secrets. I watched one of my coworkers (whom I considered a nice guy and friend) get fired today. Walked out the door while being escorted, an absolute mortified scowl on his face. I was so shocked when my boss told me I was not to allow him to enter the building again. I couldn't believe it! And I had no idea what he'd done wrong, which of course is very hush hush.
Then a coworker wanted a number that I sent to her so she could do some "research" on him privately before answering his call and my coworkers still won't tell me the real reason a lady got fired a year ago.

But over at the CAB West building, one lady (who's naturally really nice) said I was a classy person, and that not many people impressed her, but I did. And she absolutely adores my funny earrings (today I wore fire extinguishers) and says I have passed up the only other classy lady in the building (?)
Then last night at kickboxing, my partner for partner drills when we started out whooped when I started jabbing with her and she said, "You are strong!" and then when we got paired together again, she asked if I'd been doing this for a while (nope. Third time, girlfriend)

So my compliments and secrets today.

~Nymph