Red with a
Riding Hood
This musical is copyrighted by Faith Whiting
(Minimum):
ANNIE
WOLF
MOTHER
PRECIPICE
WARREN
FATHER HUNTSMAN
KING
QUEEN, MADAME SEAMSTRESS
WITCH, GRANNY
LADY 1, PIG 1
LADY 2, PIG 2
NYMPH 1, BABY BEAR
NYMPH 2, MAMA BEAR, COURTIER
NYMPH 3, PAPA BEAR, GUARD
HANSEL, RUMPELSTILTSKIN, TURKEY
GRETEL, RAPUNZEL
(Of course, the maximum number of roles is all the roles split up into single roles, which adds up to 30)
(*More Nymphs/Townspeople can be added)
(Can combine Madame Seamstress, Witch, Queen & Granny to accommodate what’s necessary)
(LADY 3 and TOWNSMAN are interchangeable depending on the gender of the cast)
(LADY 3 and TOWNSMAN are interchangeable depending on the gender of the cast)
ACT 1 SCENE 1
(Open on a fabric store with MADAME SEAMSTRESS working behind the counter while TOWNSMAN and LADIES 1 and 2 are looking around while chatting)
LADY 1: Madame, how much for this dress?
MADAME SEAMSTRESS: 40 gold pieces.
LADY 1: That’s expensive!
LADY 2: But no one makes them quite like Madame Seamstress, do they?
MADAME SEAMSTRESS: No, they don’t! My dresses are the finest in the land!
TOWNSMAN: Probably because you’re one of the last ones in the land!
LADY 2: Well that’s because of the king banishing all spinning wheels from the valley!
TOWNSMAN: Something about a princess pricking her finger and falling into an endless sleep.
LADY 2: You can’t be much of a seamstress when you don’t have the right equipment. So they all moved.
TOWNSMAN: King has a thing about weird curses.
LADY 2: Like that time he banished all apple sellers.
LADY 1: Why?!
LADY 2: Another princess. Poison apple. Endless sleep.
TOWNSMAN: Until she got kissed of course.
(LADIES nods knowingly)
LADY 2: Ah, yes. Same with glass slippers.
TOWNSMAN: Now that’s a different story.
LADY 1: Seems our king certainly does like banishing things.
LADY 2: He’s only trying to protect us.
MADAME SEAMSTRESS: After all, there are plenty of witches about.
LADY 2: Not until he banished all of them as well.
TOWNSMAN: How much for this one, Madame Seamstress?
MADAME SEAMSTRESS: 70 gold pieces!
TOWNSMAN: Pricey. But it is afine vest.
(ANNIE enters)
ANNIE: Could you make something for me?
MADAME SEAMSTRESS: Well, hello Annie! I’ve never seen you in here before without your mother.
ANNIE: That’s because this time it’s not for her. I want something made for me. And I’ll pay! (Shows MADAME SEAMSTRESS money)
MADAME SEAMSTRESS: What would you like?
~Red with a Riding Hood~
ANNIE: I saw a princess wearing a cape
I watched how it flew, how it flowed, how it draped
I am no princess, I’m actually poor
But there’s one thing I know I want for sure
With your needle and your thread
Stitch a hood for over my head
I want no cape – but a riding cloak instead!
But here’s the catch – I want it red!
(MADAME SEAMSTRESS sets to work)
EVERYONE: Red with a riding hood!
Red with a riding hood!
Let me make sure I understood
Red with a riding hood!
She wants no dress nor fancy vest
For she only wants the very best!
Red with a riding hood!
And to that cloak she’ll be real good!
She will prance about the neighborhood!
Red with a riding hood!
Red with a riding hood!
(During the progression of the song MADAME SEAMSTRESS is working on vigorously sewing something) *Optional
ANNIE: Do you have anything like that, Madame?
MADAME SEAMSTRESS: For you – of course I do!
(MADAME SEAMSTRESS pulls out a red riding cloak and drapes it over ANNIE)
ANNIE: Oh! Thank you! (ANNIE pays her and twirls in her new cloak) Oh this is the nicest thing I’ll ever own! Thank you! (ANNIE exits happily)
LADY 1: She sure was happy.
LADY 2: It’s a good thing the king hasn’t banished red cloaks.
TOWNSMAN: Yet.
ACT 1 SCENE 2
(ANNIE’s house, where MOTHER is making dinner. ANNIE enters. MOTHER looks frazzled)
MOTHER: Oh, you’re home. Will you stir that pot?
ANNIE: Yeah, of course. (ANNIE helps) But look, mom-
MOTHER: (folding laundry) Oh, where is your little brother? He could’ve crawled off to anywhere.
ANNIE: He’s in the backyard, mom, and he’s fine. Now, look what I –
MOTHER: Your father still hasn’t come home! Where could he be?!
ANNIE: Mom! Look!
(MOTHER looks. A beat)
MOTHER: A red cape? Annie, where did you get that?
ANNIE: (proudly) I saved up for it, mom! I saw a noble wearing one -
MOTHER: You spent precious money to wear what royalty wears??
ANNIE: I thought it looked nice.
MOTHER: Couldn’t you have used that money to buy us new blankets?
ANNIE: Well, yes, but -!
MOTHER: Or fix the hinges on the door?
ANNIE: But mom –
MOTHER: No buts! You take that ridiculous cape right back to Madame Seamstress and you get your money back! Take this bread as an apology!
ANNIE: I worked hard for this cloak!
MOTHER: We all must sometimes work hard for things we don’t want. Now go!
(MOTHER turns back to her work and ANNIE steps forward, away from her – monologuing)
ANNIE: (alone on stage) What does she know? She doesn’t know hard I worked for this money! She doesn’t know all the effort I put in! She doesn’t know how pretty that princess looked… (ANNIE loses herself for just a moment, staring at the bread, then straightens up) I’m not going back! And if she wants the money from this cloak – she’ll have to find me and take it! I’m running away!
(ANNIE runs off stage)
ACT 1 SCENE 3
(Set stage as forest, with Nymphs 1, 2 and 3+ standing still in the forestry)
(ANNIE rushes on and looks around)
ANNIE: An enchanted forest… she’ll never find me here. If I hide here and just live off this bread – she’ll finally feel bad and let me keep the cloak!
(ANNIE sits down)
ANNIE: Yep. Nothing wrong with this plan.
(ANNIE attempts to eat the bread)
NYMPH 1: (whispers) Get lost!
ANNIE: Who said that?
NYMPH 2: (hisses) Get lost!
ANNIE: There’s someone here? In the trees??
NYMPH 3: (hisses loudly) GET LOST!
(Nymphs start moving, blinking, dancing)
ANNIE: The trees are alive with the sound of music!!
~Get Lost~
NYMPHS:
Get lost!
You don’t know the cost!
Get lost!
You’re in our forest now! So we’re the boss!
You’re still here and it’s making us cross!
Get lost!
Your path you’ve now recrossed!
Get lost!
ANNIE: I don’t know where I’m going
I don’t know where I’ve been
I could’ve sworn that was the way back in
But now I can’t get out again!
NYMPHS: Get lost!
ANNIE: I’ll try to scram!
NYMPHS: Get lost!
ANNIE: I’m in a jam!
NYMPHS: Get lost!
ANNIE: I THINK I AM!
ACT 1 SCENE 4
(The Royal Palace – the King and Queen’s quarters, where the QUEEN sits with COURTIER attending her, maybe dabbing her lips)
QUEEN: Fetch me tea, courtier.
COURTIER: Of course, your majesty.
(COURTIER exits)
(The KING inches in behind her as he enters, cautious not to be caught)
QUEEN: Darling?
(The KING jumps, maybe yelps)
KING: Yes, my creampuff?
QUEEN: Come, sit.
KING: Ah, yes, but first –
~Darling We Need to Talk~
KING: How was your day?
QUEEN: Oh, it was swell
How about yours?
(COURTIER re-enters)
KING: Still can’t quite tell
Darling we need to talk
QUEEN: (spoken) About what?
KING: (spoken) About what?
How ‘bout the fact that the prince has gone missing?
Or all the princesses he’s been caught kissing
How ‘bout the anger of all of our people?
Or even the broken church tower steeple
Or how all of our land is very poor
And all our neighbors are at war
QUEEN: (spoken) Is that all?
KING: (spoken) Yeah, that’s it.
QUEEN: So what did you do? Today I mean?
KING: I wrote down a speech and made a decree
QUEEN: Oh that is nice. What else did you do?
KING: Then I came home and talked to you.
QUEEN: (spoken) About what?
KING: (spoken) About what?
How bout the witches that have all been found
Or all the curses that they fling around
How bout the children that have run away
Or all the seamstresses we have betrayed
Or why the prince – your only son
Has up and run – where’s he gone??
(At some point in the song, COURTIER re-enters and the KING dances/uses him to make a point)
QUEEN: Our son?
KING: Yes! The prince! He’s been missing for nearly two weeks!
QUEEN: Well that’s simple. (takes a sip of tea) Banish all giants.
KING: Giants, my dear?
QUEEN: Well that will solve it, won’t it? It’s worked in the past.
KING: Well, not exactly. We still have the glass shoemakers union after us, and plus, banishing things doesn’t seem –
QUEEN: (angrily) Well, banish something then!
KING: Y-yes dear.
(KING exits)
ACT 1 SCENE 5
(ANNIE, alone in the forest, paces nervously stage left)
ANNIE: Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man. I’ve been walking for five whole minutes and I’m making as much progress as a grandma! I mean, – wait! That’s it! Grandma! Grandma lives in the enchanted forest. (to audience, sarcastically) She just couldn’tlive without her enchanted blackberry pies. I wished I remembered how to get there. If only there were some kind of yellow brick road. (looks down) Huh? What’s this? (She crouches down and picks one up) Bread crumbs? Leading into the forest? (she sings to herself to the tune of “Follow The Yellow Brick Road”) Follow the trail of crumbs. Follow the trail of crumbs. Follow, follow, follow, follow. (ANNIE crosses to stage right. HANSEL and GRETEL emerge from stage right and “eat” the sidelines like they are eating a house)
HANSEL: Oh man, Gretel! This is so good!
GRETEL: Isn’t it, Hansel? I’m so glad Dad always told us to take candy from off of stranger’s houses!
ANNIE: What are you doing to that house?
HANSEL: Eating it, of course!
GRETEL: What’s it look like?
HANSEL & GRETEL: Duh.
ANNIE: Just because it’s made of candy?
HANSEL: I’d eat you if you were made of candy.
(ANNIE is horrified. The WITCH pokes her head out the door. She is wearing huge glasses)
WITCH: Well, hello children. Are you enjoying eating my house?
GRETEL: Oh, yeah. Best house I have ever eaten.
HANSEL: Two chubby thumbs up!
WITCH: Oh! I wasn’t expecting three little children.
ANNIE: Um, I’m not with them.
WITCH: Children, please, come in. There’s even more candy inside!
HANSEL: Peppermints?
WITCH: Plenty.
GRETEL: Lollipops?
WITCH: Loads!
ANNIE: (hesitant) You don’t happen to have those little strawberry candies that are always wrapped in those adorable strawberry wrappers that only old ladies seem to have – do you?
WITCH: My dear, I have them in bulk!
HANSEL: I’m in!
GRETEL: Me too!
(WITCH, GRETEL and HANSEL exit into the house)
ANNIE: Well ... she does have those strawberry candies, and you can’t find those anywhere else… Plus she might know where grandma lives. Old women both living in reclusive houses in an enchanted forest. They probably have a book club or something.
(ANNIE enters into house) (*CAN split this into two scenes – alternatively having them exit and then re-enter into the house in the next scene)
(IN HOUSE on the other half of the stage)
WITCH: Now come here and sit in the special chairs I have for you.
GRETEL: These ones that look like cages?
WITCH: Those’re the ones! Oh, actually dearie, that one’s for the little boy.
(WITCH switches them)
WITCH: There we go.
(Both HANSEL and GRETEL sit in the cages)
(WITCH comes up to ANNIE)
WITCH: And for you, my dear… here… uh… I have some lovely little ankle bracelets.
ANNIE: Those are shackles.
WITCH: Well, I had to improvise! (she clamps them around ANNIE’s ankles)
ANNIE: Hey!
(WITCH slams shut the door on HANSEL and GRETEL’s cages)
WITCH: (Cackles) I got you my pretties!
GRETEL: She thinks we’re pretty!
WITCH: And you’ll be even prettier IN A PIE!
ANNIE: That’s disgusting!
HANSEL: Hey! I like pie.
WITCH: But yeesh, you’re all so thin! I spent weeks putting this house together. Do you know the weird looks you get at the Peppermint Palace when you ask for a doorknob-sized peppermint? Or enough icing to ice a window? It wasn’t cheap – I’ll tell you that! So I want to make this count! And I won’t be eating skinny children! You there in red – make a stew!
ANNIE: Out of what? Licorice and candy canes?
(HANSEL and GRETEL are still obliviously reaching through the bars to grab and eat candy)
ANNIE: Wait, do you even like candy?
WITCH: Of course I like candy. Who doesn’t like candy?
ANNIE: Then if you’re so hungry, why don’t you just eat your own house?
WITCH: (daintily) I’m diabetic, dear, and I don’t like your tone. I’m offended you would think I’m some kind of monster who eats ridiculous amounts of sugar!
ANNIE: You’re just one of those monsters who eats children.
WITCH: (ignoring her, she flips through a book with a cover that says All Things Witchy) Now … C for Cannibalism… here it is! Ah, the steam from the stew is fogging up my glasses. (She takes them off) Though I can’t see a darn thing without them…
ANNIE: (to self/audience) She’s blind!
(WITCH does something blindly; peers at book REALLY closely and knocks glasses off table)
ANNIE: Or at least, pretty darn close. I can work with that. (ANNIE turns the oven up to high) (crackling fire sound effect)
HANSEL: (crying) My lollipop’s gone because I ate it!
ANNIE: Give me that. (She takes the lollipop stick from HANSEL)
HANSEL: Now my hands are free so I can grab more candy! Yay!
(GRETEL and HANSEL are reaching out of cage to scarf down candy)
WITCH: (inching towards ANNIE) Let me feel your finger, dearie. I like to know the total cholesterol of a meal, and you don’t exactly come with nutrition labels.
(ANNIE holds out the stick, the WITCH feels it)
WITCH: Aich. A thin thing. I suppose I’ll eat you later. How’s that stew coming along?
ANNIE: Oh, you know, stew-pendously. (a beat for the pun) Also, I was thinking of heating up the oven for your pies. I’m just not sure it’s warm enough for the meat. Ya know, salmonella and all. / Would you mind just testing it … WITH YOUR FACE!
WITCH: /What, dearie? Which way –
(ANNIE pushes the WITCH into the oven)
WITCH: AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
(ANNIE closes the oven)
ANNIE: Sorry! I had to improvise!
HANSEL: You defeated the nice woman who gave us gingerbread!
ANNIE: She was promoting bad dietary habits.
(ANNIE is passively letting HANSEL and GRETEL out of their cages and unshackling herself)
GRETEL: When we get home from following our bread crumb trail – we can tell dad what we did!
HANSEL: Yeah, like how I tricked the witch with a little stick for my finger.
GRETEL: And how I pushed her in the oven!
ANNIE: Yeah, yeah. Now, scram, before you get swindled by a poisoned apple seller!
(HANSEL and GRETEL scramble out, and ANNIE leaves the cottage as well)
ACT 1 SCENE 6
(NYMPHS enter and set up the forest, then perch themselves on the scenery. ANNIE enters back onto stage, chewing on a piece of gingerbread, looking around. Throughout the scene, the NYMPHS react strongly and in favor of everything the WOLF says, with mostly their facial expressions, but they can also hiss, giggle and thump their feet)
(WOLF pops out in front of her, hunched over or on all-fours)
ANNIE: Whoa!
(WOLF eyes her)
ANNIE: Nice doggie…
WOLF: (stands up) I may be a wolf, but a doggie I’m not.
And being called one doesn’t make me feel hot.
ANNIE: … rhyming … doggie…?
WOLF: You seem to be lost in your cape of red
How long will it be before you wind up dead?
(NYMPHS giggle)
WOLF: You really don’t know what you’ve gotten into
I’d turn around and run home if I was you
ANNIE: I’m a little lost, oh dog friend of mine
And I can rhyme too – and they’re just as good as … thine
If I knew the way out, I’d be out there for sure
But as it is, I can’t seem to find the bor – DUR.
(NYMPHs hiss)
ANNIE: Everyone’s a critic.
WOLF: Do you have a family? A mom waits for you?
(ANNIE nods)
WOLF: I must confess, I used to too.
For me it’s the same,
But the questions remains
How long will this dame
Remember your name
If the forest you never shame
And if home you never came?
(NYMPHS laugh, stomp feet)
ANNIE: My mom wouldn’t forget me.
WOLF: I have to laugh, because that’s what I said.
Is there a reason why into this forest you’ve fled?
(NYMPHs giggle)
ANNIE: I want out.
WOLF: Don’t pout.
ANNIE: I’m trying to find my grandma.
WOLF: I can give you a hand -a.
ANNIE: Why should I trust you?
WOLF: I’ll lead you on through.
ANNIE: This feels wrong.
WOLF: It’s really not long.
ANNIE: I’d really prefer my granny –
(NYMPHS watch this ping-pong match back and forth, heads whipping. Then they bare their teeth – suddenly aggravated)
WOLF: Listen, you! This forest isn’t safe!
And my patience now you are starting to chafe!
I’m warning you now - leave as quickly as you can
And if quick is the way – then I’m your man!
Follow me out and I’ll show you the door
You won’t have to wander anymore.
ANNIE: Thanks for your concern, but I’ll be fine.
WOLF: As for meeting me, this won’t be the last time.
(WOLF exits, NYMPHS follow after him) (Warily, ANNIE exits the opposite direction)
ACT 1 SCENE 7
(The forest) (FATHER HUNTSMAN and WARREN enter)
FATHER HUNSTMAN: Now Warren, which patch do you think we should start with?
WARREN: (points) That one.
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Now why do you think that one?
WARREN: (still pointing) It’s later in the day, and since the moss grows on the north side of the tree – any animal eating them is going to be in a thicker part of the forest.
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Not a bad reason.
WARREN: (points down) Also I see tracks.
FATHER HUNTSMAN: (laughs) That’s also not a bad reason.
(Enter TURKEY)
WARREN: Dad! Look! A turkey! I wish we could hear what he’s saying.
TURKEY: (strutting) Heeeeeey, ladies! You want a piece of this?
(FATHER HUNTSMAN and WARREN cannot hear the TURKEY say this)
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Ready, son?
~HUNTSMAN SONG~
Now crouch down low
And notch the string – hold tight the bow
Pull it back, steady, slow
Into a huntsman – you will grow!
(WARREN shoots)
(The TURKEY dies – as melodramatically as you want)
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Well done, son! You’ll be a huntsman yet!
WARREN: What a beautiful bird!
TURKEY: (dead) Dang straight I was.
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Let’s take him back to mother and your sisters.
(FATHER HUNTSMAN and WARREN exit with TURKEY stage right)
ACT 1 SCENE 8
ANNIE: That wolf was weird.
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: (from offstage, each word distinctly frustrated) HOW-DID-SHE-GUESS-MY-NAAAAAAAME?!
ANNIE: But apparently the forest is full of weird things.
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: (entering) Of all the high-falootin, fly-tootin, kick-bootin, kitten-cutin –
ANNIE: How did who guess your name?
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: The princess! With the straw! And the gold! THE GOLD!
ANNIE: Slow down there!
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: Do you know how much gold I invested in that girl! Darn long-term investment plans!!
ANNIE: Okay, okay – don’t rip yourself in half here!
(RUMPELSTILTSKIN is still not listening)
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: (dejectedly) I guess I’ll sing my sad song to myself to comfort myself. (sits)
“My name is Rumpelstiltskin. I am a clever guy –“
ANNIE: Oh….
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: What?
ANNIE: Sing that song again.
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: “My name is Rumpelstiltskin, I am a clever guy!”
ANNIE: And that’s your sad song?
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: (moaning/weeping) The saddest.
ANNIE: Then you have a happy song?
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: Of course!
ANNIE: What is it?
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: (happily – with a jig) “My name is Rumpelstiltskin. I am a clever guy – woohoo!”
ANNIE: Yeah, I see the problem here.
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: Problem? There’s no problem!
ANNIE: How often do you sing these songs?
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: When I’m not tricking people into guessing my name – almost all the time!
ANNIE: And has it ever occurred to you that if someone heard you sing this song – guessing your name would be a little easier?
(RUMPELSTILTSKIN looks confused)
ANNIE: Because they’d know it.
(RUMPELSTILTSKIN looks confused)
ANNIE: Because it’s in the song.
(RUMPELSTILTSKIN sings it quickly and softly to remind himself)
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: (softly) “My name is Rumpelstiltskin –“ OOOH!
ANNIE: There it is.
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: That is a problem!
ANNIE: Yep.
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: I should … stop doing that. Who are you anyway? You don’t need me to spin any straw into gold so that I can possess your first born child, do you?
ANNIE: Absolutely not.
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: (defensively) It’s more common than you’d think.
ANNIE: I would love some directions out of the forest though.
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: What do I get in return?
ANNIE: What do you mean what do you get? I just helped you solve your entire life’s problem!
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: Preposterous. I would’ve figured that out eventually.
ANNIE: Once a bad business model, always a bad business model, I suppose. I can give you … a song?
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: What’s the song?
ANNIE: Umm…. (to the exact tune of Rumpelstiltskin’s song)
“My name is Little Riding Hood, I am a real lost girl!”
(A pause)
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: That. Is. Amazing. Where did you get that song??
ANNIE: (amazed that it worked) Oh, I just … heard it somewhere.
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: I’ll take it. Now you want to know the way out?
ANNIE: Yep, just a clear way to a path would be nice!
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: I will give it to you in the form of a riddle!
ANNIE: I said clear.
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle
The cow jumped over the moon
The little dog laughed to see such a sport
And the dish ran away with the spoon
ANNIE: That’s not fair – that makes no sense!
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: (suddenly suave) It doesn’t make sense to try and trick the greatest trickster, now does it?
(RUMPELSTILTSKIN leaves)
ANNIE: He got me there.
(WOLF enters)
WOLF: I can’t help but notice you’re still looking lost.
I told you this forest wouldn’t be worth the cost
ANNIE: Not you again.
The prose, the beat, the rhythm, the timing
What’s up with you and all of this rhyming?
Been working on that one.
WOLF: You ready to split? Leave the forest behind?
Cast all these grim memories far from your mind?
ANNIE: I’d go with you if I trusted you.
WOLF: Trust is such a strong word and usually such a bore.
Why can’t you trust the wolf who’s already warned you once before?
But maybe you’re right, and should shout it with glee
Then stoop down and stay and pick flowers with me
There’s plenty fresh bouquets just ripe for the pluck
It’s a nice thing for your granny if in the forest you are stuck
ANNIE: How’d you know about my granny?
WOLF: It doesn’t matter. I’ll get out of your hair.
Good luck getting lost in the forest out there.
(WOLF exits)
ANNIE: On one hand, I trust him, on the other hand – I don’t.
He says he’d show me out – but maybe he won’t.
I might have to follow – I’m running out of luck
Cuz one thing he said is true – I am kinda stuck.
(ANNIE exits)
ACT 1 SCENE 9
(The village square – the KING is making an announcement from the podium. The QUEEN either stands with him atop it or astride him. TOWNSMAN, LADY 1 and LADY 2, MOTHER, FATHER HUNTSMAN and WARREN are all present, listening)
KING: Attention! Attention all peasants!
TOWNSMAN: Here he goes again.
LADY 2: Wonder what he’ll banish this time.
KING: It has come to our attention that children throughout the land have gone missing!
LADY 2: I mean, he’s not wrong.
LADY 1: Yes – first it was the prince – and now Annie!
KING: And we have come to the conclusion –
LADY 2: Here it comes.
KING: To banish all enchanted forests!
MOTHER: But that’s where Annie is!
QUEEN: Precisely! If we banish enchanted forests – there’ll be no more enchanted forests and no more children can get lost in them!
FATHER HUNTSMAN: That’s preposterous! Some of us make our living by the forests!
QUEEN: Quiet, huntsman! Or would you like us to banish all huntsman too?
(FATHER HUNTSMAN stands down)
KING: Now – as of this decree – all national enchanted forests will be heavily guarded and will no longer permit entry!
TOWNSMAN: What about the enchanted blackberries?
KING: (leaning over to the QUEEN and whispering) They do have a point.
QUEEN: Blackberries will be fetched. Anymore questions? What am I saying? We’re the king and queen – we don’t care about your questions!
(KING and QUEEN exit)
LADY 1: Ah, this again.
LADY 2: What is this going to mean for all the enchanted forests?
TOWNSMAN: And the huntsman?
(Townspeople look at FATHER HUNTSMAN who is leaning down and talking to WARREN)
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Come now, Warren. I suppose we shall try to hunt one last meal before your mother and I decide what to do with you and your sisters.
(FATHER HUNTSMAN and WARREN leave) (Townspeople (maybe just ladies) stay to sing)
~Banish This, Banish That~
LADIES: Banish this, banish that
Banish all the knicks and knacks
Banish this, banish that
Banish all the bric-a-brac
It’ll drop, it’ll drop.
Before it makes our eyeballs pop!
Till we finally figure out how to make our king-y stop!
It’s like he doesn’t have a care.
Though he can give us quite a scare!
One: We should face our fears with the courage of a bear!!!
Rest: (suddenly bashful) But that is neither here nor there.
Banish this, banish that
Banish poverty and sorrow
Banish this, banish that
It will all be gone tomorrow!
No need to scream, no need to shout
Just find out how our lives play out
He will banish things without a doubt!
But maybe we’ll just learn how to live without!
ACT 1 SCENE 10
(ANNIE stands on the edge of the stage – arms out – looking down as if she is on a sheer faced cliff) (A long pause) (sound cue: whistling wind)
ANNIE: Soooo, I’m lost.
(ANNIE edges along the outside and flinches – looking back the way she came)
ANNIE: (curses) Crab nuggets.
PRECIPICE: Whatcha lookin at?
ANNIE: (almost loses her balance) Whoozah!
(PRECIPICE is higher up – perched – looking at ANNIE)
ANNIE: Who are you?
PRECIPICE: Oh, I don’t know. And as long as I can feel the wind in my hair, I don’t really care either way.
ANNIE: Do you know the way down?
PRECIPICE: Of course I do. But I only know it so I can remember the way up. Why would you want to go down there?
ANNIE: Well, if I slip and fall, I’ll definitely end up down there, so I’d rather do it … gently…
PRECIPICE: Well, alright. Follow me!
(PRECIPICE leaps off the stage)
ANNIE: Nope! That defeats the purpose! Exact opposite direction!
(PRECIPICE comes back up and around to ANNIE’s level)
PRECIPICE: This way, silly. (She laughs)
(They inch along together)
PRECIPICE: I’m Precipice, by the way. That’s my name.
ANNIE: I’m Annie.
PRECIPICE: Why’re you out here?
ANNIE: I was looking for my grandmother, but I got lost.
PRECIPICE: You got lost on a cliff?
ANNIE: I was trying to get a better view.
(ANNIE follows her where they finally come to an end and hop off the cliff)
PRECIPICE: A better view? I know someone with a fantastic view! I’ll come with you to find your grandmother!
ANNIE: Really? That’d be a real big help. All the other nymphs have been so unhelpful.
PRECIPICE: Don’t mind them. They like to get people lost in here. She should be just around here…
(*Can make into two separate scenes)
RAPUNZEL: What ho – is that you my prince? Oh, darling, it’s so good to see you!
(RAPUNZEL comes to the window with bangs that cover her face – she has so much hair)
PRECIPICE: We’re not your prince!
RAPUNZEL: (bringing down her tone) I mean, generally good to see you – since you’re so handsome and all. Actually, I’ve been meaning to talk with you about something …
ANNIE: With us, or with the prince – which we’re not?
RAPUNZEL: And before I start – I just want to say … it’s not you – it’s me.
PRECIPICE: Should we ask her if she can see your granny’s house?
ANNIE: If she can see anything with all that hair.
PRECIPICE: She does have a pretty good view from up there.
ANNIE: (shouting) Hey, lady! Can we ask you a question?
RAPUNZEL: No, no, let me finish. You and I have had some really great times, but I just don’t see this relationship going anywhere mutually beneficial…
PRECIPICE: (shouting) Excuse me!
RAPUNZEL: And I only want the best for both of us, so I thought really hard and considered all our options –
ANNIE: (calling) Hey!
RAPUNZEL: (angrily) Quit interrupting me! (listing) You only ever visit when you’re in town, which is probably because I’m stuck in a tower – but I’d like to think you’d be there for me when I need you – but you never are! Plus you never wash your boots before you climb my hair and you insist you never want to meet my witchy mother! I’m breaking up with you!
PRECIPICE: We’re not your prince!
RAPUNZEL: Not anymore you’re not!
ANNIE: No – we mean literally – we’re not your prince! My name is Annie – and this is Precipice, and I’m lost in the woods and are wondering if with your fantastic peripheral vision, you could help us by telling us where to go!
RAPUNZEL: (raises her bangs) Oh my gosh! How embarrassing! You’re not my prince! It’s so hard to see from up in this tower and there’s always hair in my eyes. Getting bangs was a huge mistake. I’m trying to grow them out.
PRECIPICE: Here, I’ll climb the tower, Annie.
ANNIE: Thanks Pressy.
(PRECIPICE climbs the tower)
RAPUNZEL: Plus everyone looks like a bug at the bottom of this place. You’re looking for a way out of the forest, sweetie?
ANNIE: Or a way to my granny’s.
PRECIPICE: (at the top of the tower) There’s a smokestack coming from that direction, Annie! And it smells like blackberries!
ANNIE: That’s granny! Thank you so much!
(PRECIPICE starts climbing down)
RAPUNZEL: Also – if you see the prince – could you tell him that he’s not allowed to climb my hair anymore?
ANNIE: He climbed your hair? Girl – you can’t let him walk all over you like that.
PRECIPICE: Bye!
RAPUNZEL: Goodbye!
(ANNIE and PRECIPICE leave)
ACT 1 SCENE 11
(FATHER HUNTSMAN and WARREN going into the woods)
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Now, son, remember what I taught you.
~HUNTSMAN SONG (REPRISE)~
Now crouch down low
Notch the string – hold tight the bow
Pull it back, steady, slow
(WARREN stands, singing alone for the first time, proudly)
Into a huntsman I will grow!
(FATHER HUNTSMAN takes over, tenderly)
How much I love you – you’ll never know!
Into a huntsman- you will grow!
You will grow.
GUARD: (interrupting) Hey! These woods are off-limits by decree of the king!
FATHER HUNTSMAN: (grappling with GUARD) Run, Warren!
WARREN: What?
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Run! You’ll merely starve to death out here! A forest is where a huntsman belongs!
WARREN: Father!
GUARD: (Grabbing FATHER HUNTSMAN) Hey! Get back here!
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Run!
(WARREN runs into the forest)
*(GUARD chases/takes hostage FATHER HUNTSMAN off the opposite direction)
ACT 1 SCENE 12
ANNIE: Do you see the smokestack, Precipice?
PRECIPICE: How am I supposed to see anything down here? The ground is nothing like a cliff face. I mean, it’s all so flat! What do you do when you want to climb upward?
ANNIE: Climb trees mostly, I guess?
PRECIPICE: Those big vertical broccoli?
ANNIE: Yep.
PRECIPICE: Did you climb trees back home?
ANNIE: Nah. My parents were poor and I was always working too much to ever play or climb trees.
PRECIPICE: They look like they’d be too slippery. There’s hardly any footholds or crags at all!
ANNIE: Are you getting hungry, Precipice?
PRECIPICE: I had a slab of boulder this morning, so not really.
ANNIE: Well, considering the only thing I had to eat today was a sugar-frosted window pane, I’m kind of famished. We could always eat this bread in my basket.
PRECIPICE: It doesn’t look quite as appealing as cliff berries or moss, but I suppose it’ll do.
(They sit down to start eating when PRECIPICE stops)
PRECIPICE: Do you hear that?
ANNIE: Hear what?
(They both sit – bread uneaten)
PRECIPICE: That. Someone’s crying.
ANNIE: I don’t hear anything.
PRECIPICE: Shhhhh.
(They listen – both ANNIE and the audience hear nothing)
PRECIPICE: C’mon. Let’s go find it. They sound scared.
(ANNIE and PRECIPICE gather bread and basket and leave)
~INTERMISSION~
ACT 2 SCENE 1
(The Royal Palace – the KING and QUEEN’s chamber)
KING: Darling, I do think we need to talk.
QUEEN: About what,darling?
KING: About the kingdom we run, darling.
QUEEN: What about it,darling?
KING: It seems a bit in disarray, darling.
QUEEN: Now what would make you think that?
KING: The people aren’t happy about our constant banishment technique. Also - it doesn’t work.
QUEEN: What do you mean? It gets rid of the problems! What better way to get rid of something than to say it’s not allowed anymore!?
KING: What if we started working around the problem? For instance – what if instead of burning all the spinning wheels so that a princess doesn’t prick her finger – instead we tell the princess about the curse so she can stop herself when she gets an urge to touch one!
QUEEN: That would never work.
KING: Or instead of banishing witches – we ask them what they want – maybe even work with them!
QUEEN: Preposterous!
KING: Or instead of banishing all enchanted forests, which, by the way, make up a decent portion of our kingdom – we listen to the huntsman and send a search party!
QUEEN: I think you have quite lost your head!
KING: (suddenly) I miss my son, Myrtle!
QUEEN: (quieter) Is that what this is about?
KING: Of course it is! The only reason we started banishing things was to protect him! First it was so all the princesses he fancied wouldn’t fall into some eternal slumber! The spinning wheels and then the poison apples! And then you didn’t like the girl who had a witchy mother –so we banished all witches.
QUEEN: That girl had too much hair! No person should have that much hair.
KING: And then it just got out of control! Then it was anything we didn’t like! Like glass slippers!
QUEEN: Too impractical.
KING: The Emperor’s Clothes!
QUEEN: He mustn’t be dressed any fancier than us!
KING: He wasn’t wearing anything, Myrtle! We looked like fools! I just miss my son.
QUEEN: I have a brilliant idea! We banish anyone who won’t tell us where he is – or better yet – we banish all princes that aren’t lost – so that we –
KING: I need to take a walk!
(KING leaves)
QUEEN: You know – with how many walks you take nowadays – I have half a mind to banish those!
(Song cue: beginning of Darling, We Need to Talk)
ACT 2 SCENE 2
(WARREN is sitting on the ground of the forest with PRECIPICE and ANNIE above him)
ANNIE: Hey. You okay?
WARREN: (sniffling) I’m lost.
ANNIE: Join the club.
PRECIPICE: Why’re you crying?
WARREN: I’m also scared.
ANNIE: They commonly go together.
PRECIPICE: Anything we can do for you?
WARREN: Do you know the way out?
ANNIE: Unfortunately, we’re looking for it too.
WARREN: You haven’t found it?
PRECIPICE: Not yet.
ANNIE: But you can come with us to my grandmother’s house. We’ll be safe there for now.
WARREN: I guess we’ll never get out.
PRECIPICE: What do you mean?
WARREN: The king has banished all enchanted forest! Now no one is allowed in or out!
PRECIPICE: That’s horrible!
ANNIE: And ridiculous! How is banishing enchanted forests going to help anything?
(PAPA BEAR, MAMA BEAR, BABY BEAR and PIGS 1, 2 and 3 suddenly come running from opposite sides of the stage)
PIG 1: Wolves!
PIG 2: Bears!
PIG 3: (almost running into them) Children!
ALL PIGS: Oh my!
PAPA BEAR: What in tarnation is going on here??
PIG 1: We just got chased out of our home by a big bad wolf!
PIG 2: And then our second home!
PIG 3: And then our third!
(The PIGs bury their heads in their hands and “cry”)
PAPA BEAR: The housing market just ain’t what it used to be…
MAMA BEAR: (fanning herself) Sounds like what we just had to go through! We came home to find some little blonde girl trespassing!
BABY BEAR: Not only that, she sat in our chairs and slept in our beds!
MAMA BEAR: And she didn’t appreciate my cooking!
ANNIE: So why’re you guys running?
PAPA BEAR: We find it good to jog after a filling meal.
(BABY BEAR burps)
PAPA BEAR: (to BABY BEAR) Now, remember son. Trespassers get no warning shot.
(BABY BEAR nods)
MAMA BEAR: But the whole thing was so traumatizing!
(MAMA BEAR begins making a strange noise)
ANNIE: What is she doing?
PAPA BEAR: She’s crying. It’s a good thing it’s not me, since she cries too soft, but I cry way too hard!
BABY BEAR: And I cry just right!
PIG 1: (to children) You’ve got to hide us!
PIG 2: The wolf is coming any second!
PIG 3: And he’ll eat us up and blow us all away!
PAPA BEAR: Why that sounds like a fixable problem! Ain’t no house stronger than ours! The outside is too hard!
MAMA BEAR: And the inside is too soft!
BABY BEAR: (putting his arms around the PIGS) And the company’s JUST right.
ANNIE: Well there you go! Go live with them!
PIG 1: I’m so excited I could squeal!
PIG 2: You’re really saving our hides!
PIG 3: But we have to warn you -
ALL PIGS: We eat like pigs!
MAMA BEAR: (leading them away) Not a problem boys. Now, do you like your porridge too hot or too cold?
(BEARS and PIGS exit)
WARREN: …. Talking …. animals…
ANNIE: You get used to it. (helps him up)
WARREN: (to PRECIPICE) And what are you?
PRECIPICE: (curtsies) I’m a cliff sprite!
WARREN: You kind of look like the nymphs who chased me in here.
PRECIPICE: They’re much meaner than I am.
WARREN: You’re prettier too.
PRECIPICE: (bashful) Thank you. And what are you?
WARREN: My name’s Warren. I’m a huntsman.
PRECIPICE: I’m Precipice – and this is Annie.
WARREN: Nice to meet you.
ANNIE: Can you hunt?
WARREN: What?
ANNIE: You’re a huntsman. Can you hunt? Can you get us some food?
WARREN: (nervously) I can try.
ANNIE: Great! I’m starving!
(WARREN listens and then creeps toward stage right. WARREN hums The Huntmans Song to himself and then shoots offstage. The WOLF howls in pain, coming onstage with an arrow)
WOLF: Ouch! Ouch! Oh, my leg! That’s seriously not fair!
I’m just drinking some water after blowing all that air!
ANNIE: (bursting in) You were the one tormenting those pigs?
WOLF: Ah, I see it’s my friend, the little girl in red.
Is it your fault this boy just tried to shoot me dead?
ANNIE: Yeah, um sorry about that. Let me –
(ANNIE helps him pull out the arrow and gives him her cloak)
ANNIE: It’s red so it won’t stain.
PRECIPICE: I’ve never seen a wolf like you in the woods!
WOLF: I’m a special wolf – extra big and extra strong!
But I’ll limp away quietly, my stay I won’t prolong.
But one word of warning to my friend here in red
You stay here any longer and you might end up dead
(WOLF hands ANNIE back her cloak and limps away)
ANNIE: (calling after him) There’s more things that rhyme with “red” than ‘’dead,” ya know!
PRECIPICE: You know him?
ANNIE: Only vaguely. (Looks at cloak) Huh. Look at that. It does stain.
WARREN: What did he mean?
ANNIE: Beats me.
PRECIPICE: To your grandmother’s house then!
WARREN: Will your grandmother know what to do?
PRECIPICE: Let’s hope so.
ANNIE: She’s kind of our last hope.
(WARREN, PRECIPICE and ANNIE exit)
ACT 2 SCENE 3
(ANNIE’s home, where MOTHER is sitting and cleaning something, looking very sad)
(FATHER HUNTSMAN appears in the doorway)
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Are you Annie’s mother?
MOTHER: Yes.
FATHER HUNTSMAN: I’m Warren’s father.
MOTHER: You’re the huntsman.
FATHER HUNTSMAN: I know the king has banished all entry into the enchanted forest, but our kids are still in there somewhere. Would you –
MOTHER: Yes.
FATHER HUNTSMAN: I didn’t finish.
MOTHER: You were going to suggest we go look for them. With your tracking skills, I know you can help us. I’ll get my husband and we’ll go tonight. (putting on cloak)
KING: (entering) Excellent.
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Your majesty!
(FATHER HUNTSMAN and MOTHER drop to one knee)
MOTHER: (desperately) Please do not banish us, sire! We only want our children back!
KING: As do I. Rise, subjects. I’m coming with you.
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Sire?!
KING: I, too, have a child lost in the woods. I wish to start anew and prove to my wife that getting away from a problem is not the answer to solving it. We must do our best to face our fears and work through our problems.
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Then you’ll join our search party?
KING: Young man, I’ll lead it! Come! Into the forest to find our children! If I can find my son tonight – I think then I can set things right.
MOTHER: I didn’t know you like rhyming, sire.
KING: Just a little thing my son and I used to do together.
(TOWNSMAN and LADIES 1 and 2 have entered and are rubbing their eyes, tiredly)
LADY 1: We’re going intothe enchanted forest?
LADY 2: Withthe king?
TOWNSMAN: Next thing you know – princesses won’t even need to be rescued from dragon guarded towers anymore!
(The town laughs)
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Let’s go!
KING: Let’s go and find the lost children!
(Everyone exits)
ACT 2 SCENE 4
(Grandmother’s house is set on stage. PRECIPICE, ANNIE and WARREN enter. WOLF is already laying on bed, wearing a bonnet and hiding in the covers. The NYMPHs are around, maybe holding furniture, lamps, shelves, etc.) (Sound cue: Door creaking when enter)
WARREN: Is this your grandmother’s house?
ANNIE: Yes it is!
PRECIPICE: Finally!
ANNIE: Now I’m kind of glad we didn’t eat the bread. It means I’ll have something to give granny to accept her bedraggled granddaughter.
PRECIPICE: I’m sure she’ll accept you no matter what! She’s your granny! She loves you.
ANNIE: I think I see her in the bedroom!
WOLF: Come in, granddaughter, come in!
ANNIE: Granny – is that you?
WOLF: Why don’t you come in and see? I mean – of course it’s me, darling!
(Optional line for intro: PRECIPICE: I don’t like the feel of this!)
(ANNIE enters cautiously and keeps her distance from the bed as she peers on and sings)
~OH GRANDMOTHER~
ANNIE’S SIDE = ANNIE, PRECIPICE, WARREN
WOLF’S SIDE = WOLF + NYMPHs
ANNIE’S SIDE: Oh grandmother – what big ears you have!
WOLF’S SIDE: The better to hear you with, my dear!
ANNIE’S SIDE: Oh grandmother – what big eyes you have!
WOLF’S SIDE: The better to see you with, my dear!
ANNIE (PRECIPICE, WARREN):
We’re really not liking this
Our stomachs are in quite a churn!
For we fear that if we should go in
We never will return!
ANNIE’S SIDE: Oh grandmother – what a big nose you have!
WOLF’S SIDE: The better to smell you with, my dear
ANNIE’S SIDE: Oh grandmother – what big hands you have!
WOLF’S SIDE: The better to hold you with, my dear!
ANNIE’S SIDE: (escalating) Oh grandmother!
Oh grandmother!
Oh grandmother!
What big teeth you have!
WOLF’S SIDE: The better to EAT YOU WITH!!!!
(Near the end of the song, WOLF creeps out of bed to get closer to door. As song ends - WOLF leaps out. WARREN suddenly comes to the rescue, using the basket or some non-lethal weapon to swing around and hit WOLF) (This scene can be done in slow motion)
(WOLF falls to one side – dressed like grandmother)
ANNIE: You! I knew I couldn’t trust you! What have you done with my granny?? (ANNIE starts to come at him aggressively) (GRANNY rushes in, entering from the opposite side)
GRANNY: Dearie! Dearie! What is going on here?!
ANNIE: Granny! I thought this mean old wolf had gobbled you up!
(ANNIE hugs GRANNY)
GRANNY: What mean old wolf, dearie? All I see is a frightened little prince.
ANNIE: (shocked) Prince?
GRANNY: Yes, dearie! Why, look!
(GRANNY twirls her finger and the NYMPHS on stage swarm around WOLF to take his WOLF and grandmother costume off, revealing a normal boy, who will now be referred to as PRINCE)
ANNIE: You mean you’re the lost prince?
PRINCE: I didn’t want anyone to know!
ANNIE: This is where you got lost?
GRANNY: He came to me, dearie.
ANNIE: But why?
GRANNY: Well, because I’m a witch!
ANNIE: You’re a witch?!
GRANNY: (cheerily) Of course I am! Didn’t you know that? I would’ve been banished with all the other witches if I didn’t live out here in the woods already.
ANNIE: That explains why your blackberry pies are so magical.
GRANNY: This fine young man came to me asking to have some curses put on him.
ANNIE: He askedyou to put curses on him?
PRECIPICE: So you made him look like a wolf?
WARREN: And speak in rhyme?
ANNIE: And huff and puff and terrorize little piggies out of their houses??
GRANNY: Well, yes. He wanted a lot of curses.
ANNIE: But why?
PRINCE: I wanted to get away from my overbearing parents. They kept banishing things for my “safety.” First it was the spinning wheels for my first true love, Aurora and then the poison apples for my second true love Snow White, and then the glass slippers for my third true love, Cinderella, until finally they banished my current true love, Rapunzel, because her mother was a witch!
PRECIPICE: That’s a lot of true love!
ANNIE: Which, ah, by the way… we have a message from Rapunzel.
PRINCE: You do?
ANNIE: Unlike her hair- she’s cutting you off.
PRINCE: She’s breaking up with me?
ANNIE: Afraid so.
PRINCE: (moans) I can’t take it anymore!
GRANNY: (to PRINCE) I’m sorry dearie.
PRINCE: See what I mean? When my parents banish things – it always ends up worse! So I ran away! I wanted to hide from the royal palace – to have my own life. I found your grandma and she made me look and sound different! I thought maybe I could hide in these woods and live peacefully forever! But then you came along! I couldn’t have you coming here and finding out the truth – so I tried to scare you off! Please don’t tell the king and queen! I don’t want to go back!
ANNIE: Hey, hey, it’s okay. I won’t tell anyone.
PRINCE: Really? You mean you’ll let me stay here with your granny?
ANNIE: If it’s okay with granny – it’s okay with me.
PRECIPICE: Your secret is safe with us.
FATHER HUNTSMAN: (from offstage) There they are!
(The town emerges into the cottage, including FATHER HUNTSMAN, MOTHER, KING, MADAME SEAMSTRESS, LADY 1, LADY 2 and TOWNSMAN)
(FATHER HUNTSMAN hugs WARREN, ANNIE hugs MOTHER)
MOTHER: I knew Annie would find her grandmother’s house!
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Warren! I was so worried!
WARREN: Don’t be, father! I’m a good huntsman now!
FATHER HUNTSMAN: Of course you are, son, of course you are!
KING: Son?
PRINCE: (shocked) Dad?
KING: Son! I banished a whole forest for you!
PRINCE: You really have to stop banishing things, dad.
KING: I know. We’ll talk to your mother when we get home.
(KING and PRINCE hug)
PRINCE: About that, dad… I don’t know if I want to go home…
KING: What do you mean?
PRINCE: I mean, I’ve really liked my time I’ve spent out here in the woods with Annie’s granny. I liked being a wolf and speaking in rhyme and terrorizing little pigs!
KING: Well, son, you have responsibilities! You are a prince after all! But tell you what – you come home to calm my ailing heart and help put the kingdom at rest – and we can plan cursed camping trips for the summer where we turn into wolves and terrorize little pigs together!
PRINCE: And we can rhyme?
KING: All the time!
PRINCE: I’d like that.
MOTHER: (to GRANNY) Hi Mom.
GRANNY: It’s so good to see you, dearie. I was just about to bake a blackberry pie! We can eat it with your bread! Come in and tell me all about your adventures! (to ANNIE) By the way, dearie, I love your cloak.
ANNIE: Thanks! It’s –
EVERYONE: RED WITH A RIDING HOOD!
~End~
ALL SONGS
Red with a Riding Hood
Get Lost
Darling We Need to Talk
Huntsman Song
Banish This, Banish That
Huntsman Song (Reprise)
Little Lost
Oh, Grandmother!
~Red with a Riding Hood~
ANNIE: I saw a princess wearing a cape
I watched how it flew, how it flowed, how it draped
I am no princess, I’m actually poor
But there’s one thing I know I want for sure
With your needle and your thread
Stitch a hood for over my head
I want no cape – but a riding cloak instead!
But here’s the catch – I want it red!
EVERYONE: Red with a riding hood!
Red with a riding hood!
Let me make sure I understood
Red with a riding hood!
She wants no dress nor fancy vest
For she only wants the very best!
Red with a riding hood!
And to that cloak she’ll be real good!
She will prance about the neighborhood!
Red with a riding hood!
Red with a riding hood!
~Get Lost~
NYMPHS:
Get lost!
You don’t know the cost!
Get lost!
You’re in our forest now! So we’re the boss!
You’re still here and it’s making us cross!
Get lost!
Your path you’ve now recrossed!
Get lost!
ANNIE: I don’t know where I’m going
I don’t know where I’ve been
I could’ve sworn that was the way back in
But now I can’t get out again!
NYMPHS: Get lost!
ANNIE: I’ll try to scram!
NYMPHS: Get lost!
ANNIE: I’m in a jam!
NYMPHS: Get lost!
ANNIE: I THINK I AM!
~Darling We Need to Talk~
KING: How was your day?
QUEEN: Oh, it was swell
How about yours?
KING: Still can’t quite tell
Darling we need to talk
QUEEN: (spoken) About what?
KING: (spoken) About what?
How ‘bout the fact that the prince has gone missing?
Or all the princesses he’s been caught kissing
How ‘bout the anger of all of our people?
Or even the broken church tower steeple
Or how all of our land is very poor
And all our neighbors are at war
QUEEN: (spoken) Is that all?
KING: (spoken) Yeah, that’s it.
QUEEN: So what did you do? Today I mean?
KING: I wrote down a speech and made a decree
QUEEN: Oh that is nice. What else did you do?
KING: Then I came home and talked to you.
QUEEN: (spoken) About what?
KING: (spoken) About what?
How bout the witches that have all been found
Or all the curses that they fling around
How bout the children that have run away
Or all the seamstresses we have betrayed
Or why the prince – your only son
Has up and run – where’s he gone??
~Huntsman Song~
Now crouch down low
And notch the string – hold tight the bow
Pull it back, steady, slow
Into a huntsman – you will grow!
~Huntsman Song (Reprise)~
Now crouch down low
And notch the string – hold tight the bow
Pull it back, steady, slow
Into a huntsman I will grow!
How much I love you – you’ll never know!
Into a huntsman- you will grow!
You will grow.
~Banish This, Banish That~
LADIES: Banish this, banish that
Banish all the knicks and knacks
Banish this, banish that
Banish all the bric-a-brac
It’ll drop, it’ll drop.
Before it makes our eyeballs pop!
Till we finally figure out how to make our king-y stop!
It’s like he doesn’t have a care.
Though he can give us quite a scare!
One: We should face our fears with the courage of a bear!!!
Rest: (suddenly bashful) But that is neither here nor there.
Banish this, banish that
Banish poverty and sorrow
Banish this, banish that
It will all be gone tomorrow!
No need to scream, no need to shout
Just find out how our lives play out
He will banish things without a doubt!
But maybe we’ll just learn how to live without!
~Oh, Grandmother!~
ANNIE’S SIDE = ANNIE, PRECIPICE, WARREN
WOLF’S SIDE = WOLF + NYMPHs
ANNIE’S SIDE: Oh grandmother – what big ears you have!
WOLF’S SIDE: The better to hear you with, my dear!
ANNIE’S SIDE: Oh grandmother – what big eyes you have!
WOLF’S SIDE: The better to see you with, my dear!
ANNIE (PRECIPICE, WARREN):
We’re really not liking this
Our stomachs are in quite a churn!
For we fear that if we should go in
We never will return!
ANNIE’S SIDE: Oh grandmother – what a big nose you have!
WOLF’S SIDE: The better to smell you with, my dear
ANNIE’S SIDE: Oh grandmother – what big hands you have!
WOLF’S SIDE: The better to hold you with, my dear!
ANNIE’S SIDE: (escalating) Oh grandmother!
Oh grandmother!
Oh grandmother!
What big teeth you have!
WOLF’S SIDE: The better to EAT YOU WITH!!!!
Note: On this song, the Nymphs sing with the WOLF. WARREN and PRECIPICE may sing with ANNIE if needed. It actually might create a more balanced feel to a kind of warring song, giving it two sides.
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