October 23rd

What is there not to tell?? Atlantean and I got a four day weekend and we enjoyed every minute of it! So let me briefly skim over our schedule.
("Briefly" Lol yeah right)

Tuesday was the day Dryad took me lingerie shopping - and let me tell you - Dryad is one of my favorite people to shop with because she has so much patience! She'll wait outside fitting rooms, she'll tell you the truth about what you try on and never try to get you to go faster or moan about how slow you're going. She even offered, if we didn't find anything this time, that we could try again another day. She was actually really thrilled that I let her do this with me, and I felt the same way toward her. It was weird coming out of a dressing room wearing so little, but I did want a nice pair of lingerie, and I was so happy when she wasn't just willing to settle with something "alright" and never judged me for the way my body looked. She even suggested a couple of styles because of my body shape. She said she wants to have me in something that when I wear it, I think, "Dang! I'D do me." I really appreciate her and can't wait to go again!

Wednesday night was the night that Fairy Queen, Atlantean and I went to go pick up my prescribed birth control. We were freaked out when the front counter told us it was going to be 63$ a month for the name brand, and I freaked out because I not only was scared of all the things I had heard birth control does to a woman, and now on top of that - I had to pay a large amount of money that I was pretty sure I didn't have every month. Atlantean took me over to the empty deli at Smiths to rant and cry, and we left Fairy Queen in the pharmacy.
God works in miraculous ways, and this was one of those times. My mom was not only able to acquire free birth control, but also birth control that was totally prescribed and was the name brand. I didn't deserve this kind of treatment since all I had done is whine about it not being the way I had wanted. It's just another testament I suppose that God really desires Atlantean and I to be married and that it should be a wonderful time, not a time of elevated stress. I recently also changed my time of birth control and while I'm nervous about the effects and I do not - nay - I CANNOT get pregnant anytime soon, I'm already failing at remembering about taking it. I need to be better.

Wednesday was also the day that Jinn took me over to her house and helped me make peanut butter fingers for Atlantean's bachelor party. She pretty much just handed me the recipe and supervised me, so I essentially made them all by myself. I also discovered I have an irrational fear of handmixers. They're just too strong! They scare me. I also got a glimpse into Troll and Jinn's life together as Troll came down to read us some of his writing and take care of their baby (whom I think I named Unicorn previously?). Jinn has also had to currently come and use our oven down in our apartment (which technically isn't actually ours, but I still like to consider it ours) because hers upstairs isn't working. I think they recently have actually had a repairman come over and fix it.

Thursday I went and got my hair cut with Pixie, and hated what the woman did. Thankfully they were having a  sale at Great Clips and I didn't have to pay too much for it.... She didn't make my bangs straight and she was kind of grumpy the entire time. I know I can work with what she gave me, but  I wasn't terribly pleased. I got to look through Pixie's amazing sketchbook afterward and then she willing went with me to Zurchers and Hobby Lobby afterward to pick up crepe paper and silver and blue paper for the leaving of the reception and the flowers of the boutonnieres of the adults. I'm so glad Jinn suggested paper flowers, because now I know how to make them. I also picked up some cute frankenstein socks and some day of the dead candles that contribute to my 30$ fun money (my first thing this month!)
Later that day, Atlantean and I went to his bank to deal with some withdrawal issues and then to IKEA to pick him out some drawers that will fit in my IKEA shelf so that we can have a sort of dresser together, and we had fun fooling around in IKEA again. We also went to Olive Garden just before because he was excited to, and spent a little more than we expected. I felt really bad about it, especially because I think my birth control hit me about then, and I didn't feel great, so I was a terrible dinner date. The ironic thing is as much as I did not want to do that again, (spend that much money) that night we got a check from a relative who wasn't going to be able to make it to the wedding and it was for the exact amount we had spent.

On Friday, we spent a little more time clearing out the rest of Atlantean and I's rooms, and we pretty much live in prison cells recently. Just a bed and echoey chambers of rooms. We grabbed the last couple of random things that we don't need into November and just packed them into our apartment. Wolfman came and helped us move Atlantean's desk - which was no easy feat, but we officially have all the furniture in except for the IKEA shelf in my room and my two beanbags. Also, Atlantean and I finally went through all of our books that were just on the floor and had to double stack them on three separate shelves to get them all to fit. I think we still have some extra. We then set up the card table and the reading room finally looks great! We have a great set up in there! And all our furniture fit! (it's a miracle!) then we hung out and didn't want to leave, but we had to. Wolfman and my receptionist coworker both tell me it's a silly idea to not pay for the apartment and have one of us live in it, or think about it, or go back to hang out in it, but I persistently feel like Atlantean and I need to keep it special and not just some "hang out joint" that we just return to when we're married. It's either our apartment or no apartment at all. Atlantean didn't even blink when I requested this odd thing of him. I love him.

He has been growing in my respect more and more this week, as he kind of has a new goal of thinking about things in the future rather than just as they come. He has been more comprehensible, capable and all over more on top of things this week than I have ever seen him. It feels like he cares. And he's proving he does.

On top of that, my family is finally starting to really jump on the bandwagon of this reception now. This past few weeks, we've actually had a couple sit down sessions where they grill me on what has already been done, what needs to be done, and what it will take to accomplish it. I not only have a family first and foremost, I have a team of people who are concerned for my wellbeing, and are overall - my friends, and I really appreciate that great great blessing in my life. Centaur (my dad) just told me this morning that he bought the cable that will help us connect phones or speakers to the church speakers. Fairy Queen (my mom) has been going through vast amounts of pictures for the slideshow and also buying frames for tables full of pictures. I showed Mermaid the playlist and she approved, and said she would help with it and Wolfman recently talked to Atlantean about if his crown didn't arrive in time, how they could just make one together. He also had offered to buy some extra tungsten off his teacher so we don't have to spend 50$ on a bulk package when Atlantean only needs about 2 more pieces and has offered to make me 24 easels out of plywood so I don't have to buy or rent them. Everyone is being so helpful and supportive and covering bases that I have been fretting about for months without me even asking them to. I love them, I love them, I love them, I love them SO MUCH.

Friday night was Atlantean's bachelor party and I headed over to Pixie's birthday party to represent for the two of us. It was one of the few times I've been out and about without him. We played a couple fun games such as Cards of Humanity (which I boycotted), Betrayal at the House on the Hill (with a brand new set that Pixie's sister had bought after playing Atlantean's set) and then a fun new one called Codenames (which we kind of played for hours, it was really fun :) ) We got to wear party  hats and I saw Dryad's boyfriend whom I haven't seen in a long time. (I introduced them to each other BTW and they are. so. cute.) Pixie's mom is becoming a better friend (and she's going through a divorce right now) and I got to meet another of Pixie's friends and have a good time that night. I also felt like I had taken Atlantean's place a little bit when se played Betrayal at the House on the Hill because I knew the rules so well and I could explain, though Pixie's boyfriend is also no stranger to games and really helped out.

Saturday came and Atlantean and I woke up to hand deliver the last of the invitations to his neighborhood, which we had a nice walk on, except he had eaten so many of my peanut butter fingers at the bachelor party the night before (he confessed to almost a third of the pan) that his tummy wasn't feeling fantastic, but he worked through the pain. We lazed around and then headed up to BYU to go watch a free film festival that I thought was pretty cool. I thought we could maybe stay for the other two, which weren't free, but Atlantean started hitting a depressive episode, so we had bought some food from Walmart (go us!) to eat and then took a picnic blanket where we sat on a school ground and talked through what he was feeling. I've found the best thing is just to continuously ask questions. He eventually was talking and laughing again, and tried to shove two clementines in his mouth and even chew 😂 We unfortunately weren't able to meet up with one of Atlantean's favorite mission companions and headed back home where we tried to watch Steven Universe (our new favorite show) but then ended up spending the entire night hanging out and chatting with my mom and brother. Like I said, my family is my best friends.

Sunday was a day of church, and then later that day, I had told him that we needed to try and persistently practice two things every Sunday - and that was our dance and stick shift on his car. I told him I didn't want to dance, but he persisted, which is actually rather unlike him. So I finally obeyed with a crappy attitude, and then I began to get into it, and by the end of it, because he had seen I was cracking and he started to have fun with me, I just buried my head in his chest and cried, simply amazed by his love for me and patience with me. I swear he never thinks a mean thing about a soul, even when I'm being a selfish brat. Even on the night of IKEA when I told him that I was being selfish and explained how, he said it was fine, that I was forgiven. And I asked in amazement how he could forgive me so easily. He said it was because he had a lot of practice forgiving himself.

I am not marrying a giant.
I am marrying an angel.

That night I took bridals with my sister and my mother, who gussied me up and took me where they wanted to take good shots of me. Many of them were very cool, but I'm a little self conscious about the way I look and didn't think any of them were very good because I was the subject. 😅 But they spent a lot of time editing and going through them and I did feel bad when I just left because I didn't really care. I've come to the conclusion that a wedding is not to make you into something you're not - like beautiful or extra caring or something. It's just to emphasize what you already are. In fact, that's what all things should be like.

Anyway, it is now the morning of October 23rd and Atlantean and I have very much enjoyed our four day weekend and are now 26 days away from November 18th! How the days creep forward and yet speed by! It's unreal! But I'm realizing more and more that you can only live in the now.

Wish me luck!
Nymph