July 9th

Some days I swear I wanna quit my job but then I'm somehow reminded of the good people here.

My boss has kind of been on my case today. She apparently had recently seen my timesheet and saw that I was coming in ten minutes late on the morning shifts I was taking. So she approached me about that. I took the reprimand calmly. I get that I should be coming in on time, that it was what I "agreed to do" when I agreed to take these shifts. I just figured with absolutely nothing happening earlier than we start opening in the mornings in the summer of a school district that it didn't matter all that much. But I'll try to get here on time.

Then she sent me an interrogative email regarding a routine thing receptionists do that I had accidentally sent to her, so I had to explain myself there.

And then, I had a gentleman come in, looking for a man back in HR. When he wasn't answering his phone, I went to go look for him. I found him, he met with the man and then thanked me for coming to get him/ letting him know. When I had gone to get him, I had walked past my boss, who then came out and let me know that to fetch an individual was unacceptable and that I had to stay in my chair, stay in my desk. At this, I did become a little defiant and began explaining myself because I believed I had gone to do the right thing. Compromising a couple precious seconds at the desk when someone might come along did not compare to getting good customer service to someone who I was already waiting on. I couldn't help but feel attacked by this, and noticed considerable contention in our discussion, because I disagreed and did not want to get smothered under her ruling. When she left, I felt I literally could not help myself and began to cry. It was small at first, just three hot tears trickling down, but when a coworker noticed and came to comfort me, it seemed I could not stop the small sobs that escaped my chest. She was the mailwoman, and I knew in the past I had judged her because of her affinity to drama and interest in people's sorrows, but now she was comforting me. I tried to choke out what was bothering me because all I wanted was sympathy, when the lady across the hall heard me too. She came out and wrapped her thin arms around me, which I nestled into and appreciated. She then went to go fill my cup with some water, and I tried to take deep breaths to calm down. The mail lady even directed people who came up to my desk, as I was incapable and I was inexpressibly grateful. She even leaned down and told me, "This is the only way I get through it, is the nice people here." and she's not wrong. The lady across the hall, who I had also previously judged to be a very serious and unfun person promised me sanctuary in her office if I ever needed an escape.

My boss must have been having a bad day or had had these things on her mind for a while or something. At least she is giving me great answers to "Have you had an employer you didn't get along with/ problems with authority/ stressful situations on the job" for future job interviews.
I just wish she would see what a good job I do, that I provide, that I consider, that I am a good worker. I'm so scared that she will give me bad reviews to future employers because of the small nitpicky things that she remembers and doesn't condone. I'm just grateful that there are people here at work who will comfort me and accept me at my worst. That is a beautiful thing.
I don't want to hold anything against my boss. I just want to do my job well, and sometimes she and I disagree on how that is accomplished.

Other news:
I've been volunteering at a Space Camp - Telos Space Discovery Center in Ogden to be specific. It's been cool. Once I was behind the scenes watching the first chair and second chair work their computers, but this time I was on the bridge, assisting and giving clues to the crew.

Red With A Riding Hood is coming along, and Spriggan (the composer of the music) is coming to rehearsal today, which hopefully will be cool. Also my mother-in-law agreed to let us use her grand piano to record the music, so it will sound cool! Also, I am still practicing piano. Also, Jinn and mom-in-law have agreed to try to come to water aerobics with my mom and I. Also, we're going boating this Wednesday and then camping next week.
Jinn had Atlantean and I help make a video of her recording Aos Si as Dumbledore for an escape room she's making. We helped flap scarves in front of tissue paper laden lights to make it look like torchlight in a dungeon. Should be cool. I wanna check it out.

We have an estimate on our car finally being back. It's been three times what they promised, and the owner has really tried to compensate us, but he says it's finally getting really close. Unfortunately, I'm starting to doubt it's gonna happen today, because he still hasn't called. But let's hope. The timing has been fortunate so far in borrowing family's car, but it's getting a little tighter.

Last night, we went over to our good friend's house and played a game called FateCore for the first time, the simplest role playing game I've seen. It worked really well. I played a character whose "High Concept" was that he was a follower. He was actually pretty hard to play since Role-Playing games seem to be dependent on action, and he actively did not take any. But we were a fantasy troupe of boy scouts who had to eventually turn on our scout master. I got kidnapped, thank heavens, otherwise I don't think anybody would have noticed me. I also made two vegetarian meals for the dinner party and basically fed everyone and was pretty proud of myself since they took three hours to make.✌

On the other hand, Atlantean is beginning another new role playing game for our guild, called Mutants & Masterminds. We recently had an Episode 0 this Friday where we created our characters. I created Roar, a loud-mouthed former cage-fighter who has super strength and has the equivalent of a banshee cry in a lion's roar. I really hope I can pull her off. I sometimes get worried I try to make everyone (specifically Aos Si) happy and not ever pull fun punches.

Sometimes the most frustrating message from God is "Sit still."
~Nymph